Belittling is a form of bullying. It’s when someone makes you feel as though you are little or not good enough.
Being homeschooled my whole life, I’ve had to deal with other people’s opinions, questions, and smart (butt) remarks. I’ve been belittled by strangers, friends, and even some family members.
For instance, I’ve been asked, “Don’t you get sick of being home?”, probably a couple hundred times. The answer is, I’m not always home. I go out quite a bit and I’m busy most of the time! But, yes, I have some days when I can get sick of staying home, just like anyone else. But, everyday I am realizing that I won’t be here much longer. It’ll be time to move out, find a new home, and create a life of my own. So, I’ve kept that in mind and I’ve tried to be grateful.
The next question I always get… “You don’t get to see your friends or socialize, don’t you hate that?”. My answer to that… I socialize all the time – and with more than just people my age. I can talk to anyone, any age, if I need to. I’ve always been kind of shy and I still have my moments, but my parents always taught me to be nice to people, to speak and have manners. If that doesn’t work, at least smile. So, no, I get to socialize more than enough!
The point being, I’ve always had to deal with people judging my life. I guess everyone has to, but being homeschooled seems to get more attention where I live because there’s not as many people doing it.
People also like to assume that I’m not very smart or that I’m socially awkward. I can’t say that doesn’t hurt. I’ve learned to just look past it, though. People don’t know what goes on in my life, just like I don’t know exactly what goes on in their lives. I don’t just sit around the house all day watching TV and eating potato chips like you might guess. I do my school work, workout, work on my website, do yoga, cook, clean, see friends, spend time with family, and I try/learn new things everyday!
Don’t judge someone or something if you don’t even know what you’re talking about.
That’s just setting yourself up to look ignorant.
I’ve heard that people only put other people down because they don’t feel good about themselves. I will never understand why someone feels the need to do that. I could never do that, at least not on purpose. I’m the type of person that if I feel like I’ve hurt someone’s feelings, I feel terrible and try to fix it. It doesn’t matter how bad you feel about yourself, that’s not a good excuse to hurt someone else.
Lately, I’ve been trying to remind myself not to worry about other’s opinions of me (in a good way). I would go around worried about what people thought of me, like what if this girl thought my outfit was weird, or this person said my laugh sounded like a donkey, or this guy doesn’t think I’m smart, etc. Now, I’ve gotten to the point where if I have those thoughts, I remind myself, “their opinion of me is none of my business”.
My opinion of myself is truly all that matters. I determine whether I like who I am becoming or not. I was getting pretty good at reminding myself of that, too! Until today, I felt like my ego got knocked over by a bus.
So, I’m learning something new the hard way today. When people belittle you, remind yourself that you are important. Forgive that person even if you need to tell them how they made you feel. Do whatever it takes for you to get over it. Just forgive them. They probably have a battle going on inside their head that you don’t want to be a part of and it’ll help you move on.
Let the negativity, meanness and hurt end with you. Who wants to pass that on? I know I don’t!
Here are a few quotes that helped me through this fluctuation today.
Words of advice… People that truly love you will lift you up, not drag you down with them when they’re feeling bad about themselves. Pay attention to those who lift you up! You’ll want to keep them in your life.
I hope you all are having a wonderful day!
Best wishes,
Lil
You know something this was exactly what I needed to read and couldn’t of come at a better time because I’ve experienced something very much to what you’re saying about being belittled recently and this helped a great deal to be able to read this thank you Lil
Chris
I’m glad this post could help you! Thanks for taking the time to comment! God bless!
Lilly; I wish to say a few words! I love your dad, he has been amazing and awesome to me. And through him, I learned of your mom, your brother, and yourself. Within that, a time frame of many years, I’ve followed your dad and family, postings, photo’s, the amazing music he teaches, and how that you’ve grown into an amazing and wonderful young lady. I would plead and beg you to never allow others opinion of you, to hurt you “personally”. I have walked in those shoes and those roads, and for the most part, to forgive them, has always made me feel better in the long run, for as you stated, we never know things about anyone else lives, unless and until we have walked in their shoes. I wish to encourage you in every manner and aspect of your life, and you have an amazing and unique talent with how you are able to express yourself through words and “maybe” you should “think” about writing a book? I do believe you’d be an amazing author? And touching briefly on your stunning beauty, *you must realize that in the world we live, there can be and there is a “lot” of jealousy and that can be “why” a lot of, especially young persons”, to say things negative or make fun of or “BULLYING”, which I pray you never stoop to their level and “try very hard, to never allow their small minds to upset you, hurt you and take away the “joy” you have for how your love of parents, life, and how amazing of a future you will have, “I just know it”… you are prepared and set up, to never fail, and that’s because you have amazing parents that raised you correctly, and the family and friends you’ve surrounded yourself with… you are now and will always be a winner, a great mind, an extra good person, and very unique and special in your own ways. So please, never allow others ignorance or ill spoken words to pull you down at all? And old saying, and yes, sometimes it is a little harder to do, especially depending on the issue spoken about, however the old saying: “like water rolling off a ducks back”, and that would be the best advice I can give you, and one other? God says to pray for our enemies, and HE will heap coals of fire upon their heads. So take hurtful issues to GOD and ask HIM for HIS wisdom, guidance, and even how to handle most any circumstances? You are amazing.. I’ve never known you personally, but watched you grow, even here through your dad and mom and things posted, and I can see plainly, that you are just super. God Bless you always. Sending prayers, and lots of “caring”. Sincerely, Ronald D. Deel
Thank you so much for taking the time to type this sweet message. It means so much! God bless you!
This message that you wrote could not be more accurate for my life also. And I have felt the same way, and from also being homeschooled I can find similarities in what you wrote and how people treated me:) I am honestly guilty of over thinking about what other people think of me. thanks for being awesome:)
Thank you Lily for the time to type up this message. It meant greatly to me. This pass year I’ve been out of school because of illness and was being belittled by people about being out for over the semester. It got to the point that no matter when I was there or not people would always start a conversation with my name in it. When I would return to school and the people would start stating their opinions about why I’m not there I would pull them aside and tell them what I am going through and tell them how they make me feel. Now when people talk about me at school they stop and listen to what I am going through and understand that saying negative things hurt others . Thank you again lily for this inspirational message!